So, what’s on my mind? A LOT actually. But what I’m going to dump on you guys today is my decision to continue writing in the Dark & Bright world in 2018.
Some of you might be familiar with these characters as I’ve had two short stories picked up by HarperCollins UK and Torquere Press (republished on my own when they went under). Kayla/Erik were featured in Paranormal Erotica and Kayla/Monica in Turning Tables.
Kayla is a bisexual werewolf torn between the love of her alpha and her attraction for the female vampire elder of the coven she’s ambassador to. Whilst not touched upon in anything published (yet), Kayla’s story also centers on her coming to terms with realising her heart can love more than one person. Amongst other things like traitorous vampires and secrets and more.
Last night, I was curious how a recent queer promo has been affecting my F/F short’s rating, so I headed over to Goodreads. I was not prepared for what I saw. Three lovely souls had reviewed the story in December, and every single one loved the world and wanted more of Kayla/Monica. (One sweet person even put my story on their favourites shelf… like what?! Me?!)
Silly or not, I started to cry. Because to me it’s more than my writing being viewed as good. It’s the fact that these bisexual characters I built with my best friend and poured myself into are characters people actually want to read.
F/F doesn’t typically get the same reaction as M/F and M/M do in publishing. Readers aren’t as enthusiastic and hungry—mostly because publishing is dominated by cis straight ladies who think M/M is hot but F/F is gross (just been my experience, guys). And due to the fact they’re not hungry for F/F, whilst I longed to write these characters, I shied away from it. I thought no one would want to read it. And as someone who wants to do this for a living, I went towards what was most popular.
This even led to me not reading F/F much on my own.
Whilst I love my friends, they all mostly straight and read M/F and M/M so I felt like an odd one out by reading F/F. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to talk about characters and things I knew they’d want to discuss and could relate to. (Note: They’ve never made me feel different or that I couldn’t talk about my attraction to women, or F/F stories. This was all my own shit I was working through. I have depression and PTSD, yo. I’m a little effed up in the nog. I overthink shit to an alarming degree.)
Halfway through 2017, I began to get over that, began to work towards embracing who I am. I sought out more sapphic stories, especially bisexual ones. I talked more openly about anything bi/queer. I refuse to self-censor anymore.
I’m done warring with myself. I’m going to write F/F in 2018 (along with M/F — cos yo, even with a man, a bi woman is still bi), and I’m going to continue to breathe life into bisexual characters because it matters to me. It’s who I am. I’m going to continue writing, reading, and promoting bisexual and sapphic stories.